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Post from Devour Houston
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Pat and Joe’s Bellaire Broiler Burger.  I had such high hopes.  Really, I did.   This iconic burger spot has been around since 1972.  I won’t elaborate on why that is such a great year, but it is.  1972…the Bellaire Broiler Burger is approaching 40 years old.  How fabulous!  A great vintage!  Well, maybe not so fabulous….

Bellaire Broiler Burger

The place is a dark dive.  No windows, except for the one window in the front, where you can see right into the kitchen.  Which is, actually, pretty cool.   You can watch them grilling over an open flame.  And, for a dive, the place was actually quite clean.  Bonus points there.  The staff was nice.    When you order, you are ordering into the actual kitchen  And, I liked that.  A lot.   I could see the fresh fixings and a big old pile of shredded cheese.   I ordered the Flame Broiled Hamburger – with Cheese ($4.15 + $.60) — mayo, onion, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese — shredded cheese.   Shredded cheese is how they roll.  Interesting concept.  I’m not sure if I liked it or not.  The Patty = small, thin, very thin, not so tasty.  Other fixin’s fresh, tons and tons of mayo. 

Cheeseburger

My dining companion ordered the Club Double Decker ($5.25).  Ham, bacon, cheese, mayo, lettuce, and tomato.  No, don’t waste your time or money.  This sandwich was…well…yucky.  The bacon was almost crispy and almost yummy.  But missed.   The ham was, well, questionable.   Very questionable.   And, shredded cheese just doesn’t belong on a club sandwich.    And, too much mayo.   I mean this sandwich was so not even yummy to look at, and the taste was just as bad.  Do. Not. Order.  This. 

Club Double Decker

So, sides.  Each $2.30.  We tried the wholly un-yummy frozen out of a bag crinkle fries.  And, the Onion Rings.  Which, by the way, the Onion Rings were the best thing we tasted today.  So, if you must go to the Bellaire Broiler Burger — like if you are kidnapped or something — order the Onion Rings.  Crispy outside, tender onion inside.  Nice savory flavor.

French Fries and Onion Rings

I did note that half of the Episcopal High School Football team was there today eating lunch.  I think that sums up the place:  cheap prices for guys with non-discerning palettes.   No offense.  I’m sure their parents raised them better.  But, I have no desire to go back.  Ever.

Bellaire Broiler Burger
5216 Bellaire Boulevard
Houston, Texas 77401
(713) 668-8171


Post from Devour Houston
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